Lord Love a Fat Man

It seems like there have been a number of football players getting in trouble with the law lately.

You would have to be hiding under a rock not to have heard about Ben Roethlisberger’s exploits in Vegas, Georgia, and now on a golf course. Lawrence Taylor has been known for being a drug addict, and now he’s paying minors for some special loving.

Santonio Holmes thinks the rules don’t apply to him when he flies. I lost track of how many kids Antonio Cromartie has; to need an advancement on your salary to deal with child support issues is pretty telling about what kind of guy he must be. Vince Young gets in a fight in a strip club. Guys that kill people get out of jail (Donte’ Stallworth) and sign with someone in no time. Then there is the never ending exploits of Michael Vick.

Every time you check the sports page it seems that another athlete is involved in something shady, getting busted for driving drunk, or being arrested for some kind of domestic violence related charge.

Maybe we should do what the Japanese are doing.

They love their sumo wrestling about like we love our football. For them it is even more than what football is for us; footballs history and tradition pales in comparison to the extremely long history and tradition of sumo wrestling.

Much like what football players tend to think they are, these guys are literally and metaphorically speaking larger than life icons; except when they are getting busted smoking pot, getting in drunken brawls (can you imagine how much it would take to get one of those guys loaded?), and hanging out with gangsters.

Fans are staying away from a sport that has defined their culture for centuries. The scandals have gotten to a point where the public broadcaster that has broadcast three hours of live sumo wrestling daily since 1953 has cut it back to 20 minutes of taped highlights.

Sponsors are dropping their endorsements; many fans are staying away from events. Only one major network broadcast the tournament anymore. A recent tournament that historically played to a capacity crowd was only half full. That is what is happening to the honorable sport of sumo wrestling with so many of the participants acting like they do.

As far as we know, NFL players are not as connected to organized crime like many sumo wrestlers are with the yakuza. As rampant as criminal activity is becoming in the NFL it would not be surprising if that where next (right, Eddie Debartolo Jr.?)

Too many football players are essentially spitting on the game with their actions these days. Goodell can suspend all he wants, but until the teams quit signing these criminals and vagabonds then it will never change. Pretty soon we’ll have probation officers and armed guards having to travel with every team when they go out of state.

Beer: Big Foot Barleywine Style Ale by the good people at the Sierra Nevada Brewing Company in Chico, CA- if you are looking to drink your way into being a sumo wrestler than this is the beer for you. At about 330 calories a bottle this one will pack on the weight in no time.

Good thing is that it will be a beer you will like drinking as it turns you into a human mountain (or athlete if you decide to give sumo a try). A pleasant, fruity bouquet will have you thinking how nice this beer smells as you drink it down. As you finish, the deliciously balanced malts and hops will have you thinking ‘wow, it taste good too.’ When you do turn into a sumo wrestler, at 9.6% ABV (12.3% if you get the whiskey cask version) this one can still get you drunk without having to drink a keg!

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