Tag Archives: Michael Vick

Lord Love a Fat Man

It seems like there have been a number of football players getting in trouble with the law lately.

You would have to be hiding under a rock not to have heard about Ben Roethlisberger’s exploits in Vegas, Georgia, and now on a golf course. Lawrence Taylor has been known for being a drug addict, and now he’s paying minors for some special loving.

Santonio Holmes thinks the rules don’t apply to him when he flies. I lost track of how many kids Antonio Cromartie has; to need an advancement on your salary to deal with child support issues is pretty telling about what kind of guy he must be. Vince Young gets in a fight in a strip club. Guys that kill people get out of jail (Donte’ Stallworth) and sign with someone in no time. Then there is the never ending exploits of Michael Vick.

Every time you check the sports page it seems that another athlete is involved in something shady, getting busted for driving drunk, or being arrested for some kind of domestic violence related charge.

Maybe we should do what the Japanese are doing.

They love their sumo wrestling about like we love our football. For them it is even more than what football is for us; footballs history and tradition pales in comparison to the extremely long history and tradition of sumo wrestling.

Much like what football players tend to think they are, these guys are literally and metaphorically speaking larger than life icons; except when they are getting busted smoking pot, getting in drunken brawls (can you imagine how much it would take to get one of those guys loaded?), and hanging out with gangsters.

Fans are staying away from a sport that has defined their culture for centuries. The scandals have gotten to a point where the public broadcaster that has broadcast three hours of live sumo wrestling daily since 1953 has cut it back to 20 minutes of taped highlights.

Sponsors are dropping their endorsements; many fans are staying away from events. Only one major network broadcast the tournament anymore. A recent tournament that historically played to a capacity crowd was only half full. That is what is happening to the honorable sport of sumo wrestling with so many of the participants acting like they do.

As far as we know, NFL players are not as connected to organized crime like many sumo wrestlers are with the yakuza. As rampant as criminal activity is becoming in the NFL it would not be surprising if that where next (right, Eddie Debartolo Jr.?)

Too many football players are essentially spitting on the game with their actions these days. Goodell can suspend all he wants, but until the teams quit signing these criminals and vagabonds then it will never change. Pretty soon we’ll have probation officers and armed guards having to travel with every team when they go out of state.

Beer: Big Foot Barleywine Style Ale by the good people at the Sierra Nevada Brewing Company in Chico, CA- if you are looking to drink your way into being a sumo wrestler than this is the beer for you. At about 330 calories a bottle this one will pack on the weight in no time.

Good thing is that it will be a beer you will like drinking as it turns you into a human mountain (or athlete if you decide to give sumo a try). A pleasant, fruity bouquet will have you thinking how nice this beer smells as you drink it down. As you finish, the deliciously balanced malts and hops will have you thinking ‘wow, it taste good too.’ When you do turn into a sumo wrestler, at 9.6% ABV (12.3% if you get the whiskey cask version) this one can still get you drunk without having to drink a keg!

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Oh where oh where has T.O. gone; oh where oh where can he be?

In an off-season full of big names finding new homes all over the NFL there has been one player noticeably absent from the headlines. He is brash. He is athletic. He is talented. Few can take over a game quite like he can, and even fewer can polarize a fan base both for and against him quite like he can.

I’m talking about the one, the only—Terrell Owens.

Football player/TV personality Terrell Owens poses backstage during the Vh1 Upfront 2010 at Pier 59 Studios on April 20, 2010 in New York City. (Photo by Larry Busacca/Getty Images)

T.O. was cut after one lackluster season in Buffalo. For most players it would have probably qualified as a pretty good year, but for him 55 catches for 829 yards and only 5 touchdowns is not that good. He has not had fewer catches since his rookie year (not counting the 2005 season when he only played 7 games); 1999 for yardage (again not counting the injury shortened 2005 year); and again the 1999 season for touchdowns.

He is getting up there in the years, but when you are known as being one of the most physically fit players in the NFL who almost fanatically takes care of his body, age is not an issue. So then why has T.O. not signed with a team yet?

Perhaps a better question should be why have some other players been signed and he has not. Donte’ Stallworth was fresh out of jail for killing someone while driving drunk and got picked up pretty quick. Pacman Jones has been out of the game for a year and got picked up. Matt Jones has not played in a year and is now with the Jacksonville Jaguars. Michael Vick was out of the game for nearly two years after being in the federal pen for dog fighting, and had little trouble finding a team.

So here you have a handful of guys that have obvious character issues, enough that their lawyer is probably on speed dial, and they are playing football next year. Terrell Owens has never been arrested. He does not show up in the tabloids for driving drunk, doing stupid stuff while partying, or beating his girlfriends.

Yet no one seems to want him. Even Donovan McNabb has said he would be willing to play with him again, but Shanahan said no.

Eldorado (that would be T.O.’s middle name) I think this is proof positive that your attitude has finally caught up with you. All the trash talking about you teammates, the media circus surrounding workouts in his drive way, all the ‘look at me’ behavior—people don’t like that. Teams have opted to go with convicted criminals on the team rather than you (and Stallworth is not that good even).

It might have taken awhile, but you are finally getting what is coming to you. You are finally getting booted from the game not because of injury or age, but simply because no one wants to play with you.

Beer: Gorillanaut Imperial IPA from the good people at Straight to Ale in Huntsville, AL —the hops reel you in and the malts get you to come back for more of this beer, A nice, citrus scent leads right into a flavorful beer with a good malt presence. Refreshing and easy to drink, you’ll need to be careful you don’t drink too many too fast since it does have 9% ABV.

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